Pot Jokes

What did the stoners girlfriend say?
If I can't marry a dude, i'll Mary Jane.
What do you call money that grows on trees?
Marijuana
What do get when you soak a spliff in Vodka?
The Holy Spirit!
What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green.
How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
Wave.
What did the frog say after lighting up?
Don't worry be hoppy.
What do you get when you eat marijuana?
A pot belly.
What is it called when a stoner spills his weed on the floor?
Drug abuse.
How do you know when you have smoked enough pot?
When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.